


The Cinderella game

by StarsMadeinHeaven



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, M/M, Mild Language, South Park kids are kind of assholes, Teenagers, not a Cinderella AU in case you are wondering, oblivious Kenny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-08-03 22:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16334363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsMadeinHeaven/pseuds/StarsMadeinHeaven
Summary: The prince in Cinderella had only a glass slipper that he could use in order to find her. Kenny had less than that: the faint sensation of soft lips against his which could belong to anyone but Kyle.





	1. The kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This actually started out as a one-shot, but I then decided to split it into five parts. The chapters are not going to be long, but I hope you are going to enjoy them anyway. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. As always, critiques and comments are highly appreciated!

### The Kiss 

The walls quaked at the sound of the loud music. Windows rattled as a group of teenagers burst into cheers, shouting ‘Drink! Drink!’ in unison. Beer cans and bottles of every kind were scattered around on the floor, flashing rhythmically under the flickering lights. The same refrain, sung time and time again, echoed in the brain of the partying mob. Air stale, the heat emanating from the excited bodies made it hard to breathe normally.

Kenny had no idea what was going on around him. Bebe had come up with that idea and lost interest soon after, leaving the boys and a couple of girls to their own devices. Too drunk to put up a fight, Kenny had let someone blindfold him and now stood in the middle of a circle made of smelly teenagers. 

Suddenly, a couple of chapped lips pressed against his and he smirks against them, immediately recognizing the brand of the aftershave filling his nostrils.

“Clyde.” 

“How the fuck did you know?” 

Kenny laughed, while Red exclaimed ‘Next!’ in a drunken, shrilly voice. What a stupid game, Kenny thought. Five minutes into it and he was bored out of his mind. 

Everyone bet that Kenny would be able to recognize his classmates with just a kiss, and Bebe immediately jumped at the opportunity and turned it into a game in a matter of seconds. Easy money, mind hazy with alcohol, Kenny shrugged and said ‘Okay’. Thus the blindfold. Thus the groans of disapproval whenever Kenny shouted the right name. The losers willingly handed over the money, five bucks right into Kenny’s pockets. All in all, a good sum that managed to cover Cartman’s scornful laughter and cries of ‘Slut’ and ‘Poor-boy’. Kenny couldn’t be angry at him for that; he knew that the fatass was just sore for not being able to break the long line of losers at Kenny’s feet. 

Kenny had recognized him immediately, he didn’t even need to feel those disgusting lips on his. The stink of cheese puffs had given him instantly away. 

“Who’s next?” Red exclaimed. “Come on, guys!”

Kenny sighed. He had collected enough money to buy Karen a new pencil case and he was ready to tear the blindfold away from his eyes by himself when a roar of laughter froze him to the spot.

“Oh, you’ll never guess this!” Cartman shouted, cackling like a madman. 

“If it’s you again, asswipe—” His threat chocked on a pair of soft lips that managed to send shivers runnig up his spine. He breathed in that familiar and comforting scent but couldn't wrap his head around it. Who was it? No aftershave, no perfume. It could either be a girl or a boy. The pleasurable tickle of this stranger’s breath against the curve of his mouth lasted but a moment, and Kenny bit down a groan of frustration when the other gently pulled away and left him breathless. 

Struck in dumbfounded silence, Kenny didn’t resist when five bucks slid away from his tight grasp. He hurriedly took his blindfold off and blinked stupidly at the people standing around him. 

Cartman stared at him with a devilish grin; Stan was gulping a beer after the other right next to him; Red’s glazed over eyes told him she wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on; Clyde was laughing; Craig and Token were shaking their heads; Heidi was whispering something to Wendy. There was Butters, too, and Kyle leaning against the wall right next to him. 

“Who was it?” Kenny asked. 

“That’s your issue, not ours,” Craig replied, turning his back to him and walking towards the other end of the room, where Tweek was sitting in a corner, waiting for the moment to leave the party for good. Clyde flashed him a knowing smirk and scurried after his friend as fast as his unsteady feet could carry him. Token followed suit and waved at Nichole sipping her drink on the couch while she watched Bebe dance like a maniac on the coffee table. 

“Who was it?” Kenny asked, turning to Stan. Cartman burst out laughing and patted him hard on the back. 

“That was hilarious, let’s not do it again,” he said. 

“Are we done with this?” Kyle suddenly piped in. Arms crossed, his eyes glinted in irritation, and Kenny realized that if there was someone who would spill the beans, it would be him. He had been opposed to the idea from the get go, getting angry at Bebe and going as far as to call that game ‘immoral as fuck’ and ‘disgusting as piss’. 

“Who was it?” Kenny asked turning to face him head on. He hated how desperate his voice sounded. Kyle, however, wasn't the slightest bit fazed by it. 

Not dignifying Kenny's question with an answer, his gaze drifted to Stan instead, who was clutching his stomach in pain. 

“How much did you drink?” Kyle reproached his friend, shaking his head in exasperation. Stan kneeling down and puking his guts out was all he got in response.

Kenny’s plea was immediately forgotten and filed as an unsolved case. 


	2. Strike one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who commented and left kudos to this story! Honestly, I didn't expect all the attention it had received so far and I hope you'll like this chapter too. As always, feedback is highly appreciated!

### Strike One 

The cold weather had made it almost impossible to get out of bed. Add the pain throbbing against his forehead, it was a miracle Stan woke up at all. 

Groaning loudly, he rubbed his temples as if he were trying to brute force his migraine out of his head. It was too early in the morning for this shit. School and textbooks and teachers reminding them of SATs day in, day out could go all go to Hell, for all he cared. He thought of this and repeated it out loud a second later, earning a huff of agreement from the boy hidden in a tattered orange parka right next to him. 

Not that Kenny gave a fuck about school right now. 

Bouncing on the ball of his feet, Kenny glanced around the empty bus stop and mentally went through the list of names he came up with the night before. He had laid down in his bed and had stared at the ceiling in sheer determination _for hours_ , the kiss a constant in his restless mind, visualizing the people present at the party until their names started melting together and created a crossword monster that would make even a puzzle fanatic go ballistic. 

Needless to say, he had not slept a wink because of it. 

When the morning light shined through the holes in his curtains, Kenny realized that sleeping on your problems is just a bunch of stinking bullshit. 

He was probably just making a big a deal out of it, but it was too late to let go now. His curiosity piqued, Kenny swore he was going to track the fucker down by the end of the day. 

It wasn’t even for the lost five bucks. 

It was a matter of pride.

Whoever managed to caught him off guard like that deserved a pat on the back at least. 

He already ruled some people out. Cartman, for instance. And Kyle, who sulked by the sidelines and was too proud to get involved in such silly games. And Stan-! _Stan_? 

Narrowing his gaze at his hangover friend, Kenny realized that Stan had been awfully quiet since they met at the bus stop. He should have started asking about Kyle’s whereabouts already, but here he was, staring at the road lying in front of them as if it were the most amazing landscape on earth. Suspicious much?

Kenny tried to recall where Stan was standing when he removed the blindfold. With a jolt, Kenny realized he hadn’t been that far away, and the next thing Stan did when Kenny turned his eyes to him was to puke his guts out. Throwing up was something Stan did when he fancied someone, didn’t he? 

What if…? 

No. That’s stupid. 

“What?” Stan asked, arching his eyebrows when the blond snickered. It took all of Kenny’s will not to burst out laughing at Stan’s scrunched up forehead. 

“Say, Stan, do you want to get into my pants or something?” 

The look of pure horror on his friend’s face was priceless. Opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of the water, all Stan could utter was a: 

“What the fuck, dude?” 

Look at him. Kenny was so sleep-deprived he was seriously examining the possibility of standing right next to the culprit. But why not, after all? Cartman and Kyle were not around to tease Stan about it and shame him into silence. Maybe if he played his cards right, Stan was even going to confess his undying love for him. 

“I won’t hold it against you, if you do.” The smirk stretched across Kenny’s face as Stan’s shocked expression melted into one of utter disbelief. “Unless you’re into heavy petting.” 

“Whatever gave you this idea?” Stan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Well, Wendy-!” 

“You know what I mean,” Stan cut him off. 

With a shrug, Kenny went straight to the point, “The party yesterday,” he said. “Who kissed me last, Stan?” 

“You think it was me?” Stan asked in an incredulous tone. “No, dude. Definitely not.” 

“So who was it?” Kenny asked, turning around to face him better. Stan tilted his head and averted his gaze, taking a clumsy step backwards to put some distance between Kenny and himself. Glancing down at his shoes deep in thought, Stan spent five good minutes in total silence. 

Then finally, as if he made a very important personal decision, Stan met Kenny’s expectant eyes. 

“I have no idea,” Stan said. “I can’t remember shit.” 

Kenny’s jaw dropped. 

“You don’t _remember_?” 

“Not everything…” Stan scratched the back of his head. “Is it important?” Stan asked, heaving a sigh of frustration. The pointed look Kenny threw his way was all he got in answer. “It wasn’t me,” he rushed to say, noticing how Kenny looked less convinced by the second. 

Kenny’s face fell into a disappointed frown, but then an idea crossed his mind, lighting his eyes with hope again. 

“There’s a way to find out.” 

Sensing the turn things could take, Stan vigorously shook his head no. He raised both his hands at chest level to stop him, but it was already too late. Mind already set, Kenny grabbed Stan by the collar of his shirt and boldly slammed their mouths together. 

Interesting. 

Stan’s lips were unexpectedly soft, but at the same time they didn’t feel quite right. Nope. Stan definitely wasn’t-!

“ _Dude_!” 

At the high-pitched cry, Stan recovered from his shock and put forth all his strength onto shoving Kenny off of him. Eyes wide, Kenny stumbled backwards and fell right into Kyle’s open arms with a soft ’oof’. 

“What the actual fuck?” Kyle exclaimed. Kenny looked up, flashing him a toothy grin. 

“Good morning, Kyle!” he greeted cheerfully, mumbling thanks when Kyle unceremoniously pushed him back onto his feet. 

“Don’t ask me,” Stan muttered, sensing Kyle’s questioning look boring into him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a pissed off expression etched across his face. 

“Don’t be a wuss, Stan,” Kenny reproached him, straightening his parka. “I didn’t even use tongue.” 

“Could someone care to explain?” Kyle asked. The pulse on Kyle’s forehead throbbed, and Stan and Kenny took a step backwards, shoving their hands into their pockets in a very similar manner. 

“He wants to know who kissed him last at the party,” Stan said with a shrug. At that, Kyle’s eyes flickered between the two before finally setting on Kenny. 

“Stan didn’t kiss me last,” Kenny said, ignoring the look Stan shot his way. 

“That’s what I said!” 

“Seriously? You’re still thinking about that game?” Kyle asked. His demeanor suddenly a lot edgier, Kyle walked around Kenny to stand between him and Stan. 

Kenny shrugged, but then a doubtful look flashed across his face. Uneasy under Kenny’s pensive stare, Kyle looked away and pretended to check his watch. 

“Cartman’s late,” Kyle said. Both Stan and Kenny ignored him. 

“You have to help me, Kyle,” Kenny announced instead. Startled, Kyle shared a worried look with Stan, who deliberately stared down at his feet. 

“I’m not going to let you-!” Kyle began and his lips turned into a frown when Kenny laughed. 

“No need,” Kenny reassured him. 

“What?” Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed, as if Kenny’s statement had someone insulted his intelligence. 

“Dude, you were against this game from the very beginning,” Kenny explained. “And it was a fucking good kiss. Even if you had participated, you would have never kissed me like that.” 

At Kenny’s words, Kyle’s expression imperceptibly darkened, but whatever flashed across his face was soon replaced with annoyance when Stan snapped his head up and stomped his foot on the ground, affronted. 

“Do you mean I’m a lousy kisser?” Stan asked. 

“Well.” Kenny didn’t even pretend to reconsider his statement. 

“You took me by surprise!” 

“Seriously, Stan?” Kyle asked, incredulity written all over his face, and scoffed when he noticed Kenny run his tongue over his bottom lip and shake his head in disappointment. 

“So, Kyle, about last night,” Kenny began, unaware of the sudden tension in Kyle’s shoulders. 

“The pizza rolls sucked ass last night, let me tell ya!” Cartman suddenly cut in, waddling his way towards them. “Seriousleh, it took all my self-will to get them out of my system. My mom had to call the plumber after I was done with them. I would have thought that Token had more common sense and would have ordered something that didn’t taste like common shit. Am I right, you guys?” 

“Who gives a fuck about pizza rolls,” Kyle snapped out of habit. 

“Jeez, someone’s bitchy today,” Cartman laughed and turned to look at Kenny instead with a catlike smile on his face. “Did you have fun last night, poor boy?” 

Kenny considered responding in kind but thought better of it. His priority wasn’t to piss Cartman off, however tempting that might be, but his quest for truth. Cartman was a witness; an unreliable one, but a witness none the less. 

“You’re just pissed someone managed to get five bucks from me,” Kenny said nonchalantly, but Cartman just snorted in reply. 

“Did that kiss tingled your vagina or something?” Cartman said. “I bet whoever managed to do that is feeling quite proud of themselves right now.” 

“Come on, spit it out, Cartman, who was it?” Kenny asked, not containing himself. “I crossed you, Kyle and Stan out already, but-!” 

“Why did you cross Kyle out?” Cartman asked. His fake curiosity didn’t fool Kenny in the least. 

“He didn’t participate in the game, fatass,” Kenny said. “And Stan-!” 

“Don’t bring me into this,” Stan cut in. Cartman burst out laughing. 

“Why do you want to know so bad?” Cartman asked when his giggles subsided. Kenny hated how much Cartman was enjoying his pain. Humiliating people was Cartman’s forte, after all, but Kenny couldn’t understand what the big deal was with him. It was just a name, wasn’t it? He wasn’t going to gain anything by not telling Kenny the truth. 

“It just felt nice,” Kenny mumbled, hiding into his parka. Unfortunately, Cartman heard him. 

“That’s sweet,” Cartman said. “So now you want to know who your Cinderella was? Do you want to marry them or something? Aw, that’s cute.” 

“Cut it out, Cartman,” Kyle exclaimed, his face uncharacteristically red. 

“Come on, Kyle,” Kenny said, directing his attention to him, “who was it?” 

“Yes, Kahl, who was it?” Cartman prodded. 

“I-!” Kyle hesitated, “I have no idea. I had to pee and came back just in time to see you taking your blindfold off.” 

“Fuck,” Kenny swore under his breath. “Cartman?” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Cartman said, a stupid grin tugging his lips upwards as if someone had just whispered something funny in his ear. “I can’t get in the way of true love. You’ve always been observant, Kenneth. You should figure it out by yourself.” 

The sound of a bus approaching interrupted whatever Kenny wanted to say next, and Cartman turned his back to him, looking like the cat that got the milk. The school bus stopped in front of them and the four boys climbed into the bus, one after the other, as they had been doing for the past oh-so years. 

Kenny walked down the aisle and slid into his usual seat, expecting Cartman to sit down next to him and resume their conversation from where they left it. Thinking it was him, Kenny didn’t look up when he felt an arm bump slightly against his. 

“You should just drop it,” Kyle said, taking Kenny by surprise. “It was just a silly game, anyway. Is it for the five bucks?” 

“No,” Kenny confessed, feeling the engine rumble under his feet. “I have a right to know, don’t I? I guessed everyone but the last one. That’s kind of frustrating.” 

Kyle gazed down at the school bag between his legs, and Kenny moved his head to stare out of the window again. 

“Besides you guys,” Kenny said, “there were Craig, Clyde, Token, Heidi, Red, Wendy and Butters.” He felt Kyle shift in his seat but didn’t pay much heed to it. “Too many possibilities.” 

“You forget Bebe, Nichole, Tweek, Jimmy and Anne,” Cartman piped in from his seat behind theirs. Caught off guard, Kenny whipped around to stare at Cartman in the face. 

“Jimmy was right next to me,” Cartman said faking disappointment. “Are you forgetting the crippled, Kenny? That’s low from you. You should know better.” 

“They left in the middle of your silly game,” Kyle said, clicking his tongue in annoyance, “but they were there, yes.” 

“Okay, whatever, they didn’t participate, so they don’t count.” Kenny sighed and sat back right, annoyed by Cartman’s giddy laugh. 

“But one of them might know something you don’t,” Cartman said in a sing-song voice. 

“You are such an asshole, fatass!” Kyle exclaimed. “What’s the big deal, anyway?” 

“Don’t tempt me, Kyle,” Cartman said, grinning evilly. Under Kenny’s surprised eyes, Kyle closed his mouth shut and crossed his arms over his chest. They didn’t talk about the party for the rest of the ride. 

Surely, it couldn’t be so difficult to figure out who kissed him, right? 

Three were already out of the question. Clyde too, if Kenny was being honest. Six to go, if one didn’t want to count the possible witnesses. 

Who could he ask first? Butters, probably. He was a bad liar, after all. 

With that in mind, Kenny watched South Park High School getting closer with a determined smile on his face. 


	3. Strike two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, thank you so much for all the comments and the kudos! It makes me so damn happy to see how much love this silly fic has received so far! Enjoy the next chapter, my friends! As always, feedback is highly appreciated and if you see any mistake, just let me know. <3

###  Strike Two 

“Butters, you were there. Who kissed me last yesterday?” 

“Oh, golly, Kenny.” Butters’ big, naïve eyes stared apologetically at him. Shuffling his feet, he scratched the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh. 

Granted, Kenny’s question wasn’t tactful, but it should be fairly easy to answer. After all, there were only three possible options: I don’t know, it was me, or it was insert-name-here. Kenny wasn’t expecting a love confession, but Butter’s uneasiness made him edgy. It was the same kind of facial expression movie protagonists did before they fell down to their knee and asked for the love interest’s hand. 

Was it possible that Kenny found his Cinderella already? 

“I’m not supposed to tell you anything.” 

Butters might be a good kisser, after all. He never had the honor to— excuse me, what? 

“What do you mean you are not supposed to tell me anything?!” Kenny exclaimed, eyes going comically wide. Butters started playing with his fingers, lowering his gaze to them as if there was nothing more interesting in the world than the shape of his nails. 

“It’s a complicated matter, that what it is.” Butters hesitated and threw a glance behind his back to where Cartman, Kyle and Stan were waiting by the school’s front entrance. Kenny followed his line of sight and narrowed his gaze. Cartman waved at them. 

“It’s just a name, Butters,” Kenny said, turning his attention back to his friend. At Butters’ increasing uneasiness, Kenny shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “What if I pay you twice as much as Cartman?” 

The pitying look Butters gave him didn’t fail to put a grimace on Kenny’s lips. 

“Jeez, Ken, I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Butters said, attention back on his nails. “No, sir, I wouldn’t.”

Goddamnit. 

Kenny dared to glance again towards his friends. Cartman and Kyle were still by the entrance, eyeing them both very carefully. Stan, on the other hand, had already left for class, apparently fed up by the whole ordeal. 

“What’s your deal with Cartman?” Kenny asked, trying hard to play it cool. “Don’t I have a right to know who kissed me last? What’s wrong with that?” 

It was becoming incredibly difficult to keep calm and not punch someone in the face. When Butters started shuffling his feet again, his hate for Cartman increased tenfold. 

“I ain’t gonna say that Eric doesn’t want you to know…” Butters trailed off, eyes fixed on his shoes. “But, oh, _he’s_ gonna be so sore, that’s for sure, if-!” 

“Just spit it out, Butters,” Kenny cut him off. “Was it you? You can tell me. We’re friends, right?” he asked, voice breaking with emotion. That seemed to do the trick, because Butter’s gaze immediately shifted on him, his expression guilty as charged. 

“I- well, I shouldn’t-!” Butters glanced at Cartman again. Kenny did the same, arching his eyebrows in surprise when he noticed the anger on Kyle’s face. Besides him, Cartman was chuckling and patting the redhead on the shoulder. 

“Fine.” Kenny gave up. “You don’t need to tell me. What if I find out on my own? Then no one is going to be angry at you, right? And you won’t need to give Cartman his money back.” 

“Mmmm…” Butters tilted his head to the side, seriously considering Kenny’s proposal. Then, after a long moment of thought, he nodded once. “How are you going to do that?” 

“Just close your eyes, Butters,” Kenny said, voice calm although he was mentally cheering. Out of spite, he threw a heated look at Cartman but the grin he received in answer made Kenny’s blood boil. In front of him, Butters did as told and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Kenny!” Kyle shouted his name, but Kenny was too lost in his quest for truth to pay attention to him. He leaned forwards, slowly closing the gap between Butters and him, and gently placed his lips above his friend’s mouth. Butters jumped in surprise at the sudden contact and Kenny put a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady. 

“Kenny, what the fuck!” Kyle shouted. 

Annoyed, Kenny slightly deepened the kiss, searching for that spark that had made his heart flutter the night before. Butter’s unresponsiveness, however, made it difficult to get some kind of information out of it. Sure, it wasn’t what Kenny was looking for, but maybe— 

Suddenly, a hand grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and violently pulled him away from Butters. 

“Dude, get a grip!” Kyle shouted right into his ear. “Are you going to kiss the whole school for this stupid game?” 

“If that’s what it takes,” Kenny mumbled, stepping out of Butter’s personal space. 

Eyes still tightly shut, Butters gulped. “May I open my eyes now?” 

“What the fuck, Butters,” Kyle hissed, shooting an angry glance behind him when Cartman burst out laughing. “You didn’t need to-!” 

“But-!” Butters screeched, keeping his eyes closed. 

“You are so fucking hilarious!” Cartman shouted from his place by the door. Kyle whipped around, ready to retaliate, but Kenny grabbed him by the arm to calm him down. 

“Let it go,” Kenny whispered. Under his palm, the tension in Kyle’s muscles gradually decreased. Kyle turned to Kenny, a questioning look across his face that Kenny found absolutely adorable. 

“May I open my eyes now?” Butters asked. Tearing his gaze off of Kyle, Kenny rolled his eyes upwards and playfully shoved Butters with his shoulder. 

“Yes, Butters,” Kenny said. “Thank you.”

“What a moron,” Kyle muttered under his breath, expressing his disapproval with a click of his tongue when Kenny nudged him with his elbow. 

“Can I go now?” Butters asked, eyes nervously flickering between the two. Kenny flashed a big smile at him and linked Kyle by the arm. Without another word, Kenny turned around and walked away, dragging the redhead with him. 

“Guys,” Cartman said as soon as they reached the school’s front entrance. Letting out a bark of laughter, he wiped a fake tear from his eyes and said: “You are going to be the end of me. Seriously.” 

“Shut up, Cartman!” Kyle and Kenny exclaimed in unison. Butters, who had silently followed them, opened the door and hurried inside without dignifying them with a glance. 

Chuckling madly to himself, Cartman followed Kyle and Kenny as they stepped through the door behind Butters. “So, did you find your Cinderella yet?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Kyle shot a sidelong glance at Kenny, but the blond shook his head no. 

“It was definitely _not_ Butters,” Kenny explained. With a sigh, Kyle untangled himself from Kenny’s grasp. 

They walked down the aisle towards their lockers, where Stan was already taking his books out while Wendy waited patiently next to him. A cackling laughter rose high above the sound of chattering teenagers, and Kenny felt his gaze drawn to the group of girls standing on the other side of the hall. 

“I bet it was one of the girls,” Cartman said as if could read Kenny’s thoughts. His words drew a heavy groan and a warning stare from Kyle, but Cartman didn’t feel threatened in the least. Grinning, he added: “They are talking about you right now, Kenny. I’m sure you made your kisser’s vagina all-!” 

“Will you finally knock it off?” Kyle shouted, pushing Cartman into silence. 

“It might have been a girl, yes,” Kenny pondered out loud. 

“Goddamnit,” Kyle mumbled. 

Unaware of the intensive stare the three boys were shooting at them, Bebe, Nichole, Anne, Red and Heidi kept talking fast and loud to each another. Kenny could hear snippets of their conversation but couldn’t make any sense of it. 

He swore he heard his name being spoken twice, but he couldn’t be sure. He needed to get closer. 

“I’m going in,” Kenny declared. 

“They are going to rip you apart if you kiss them!” Kyle warned him. 

Snorting, Kenny gave him the thumbs up. “I’ll survive.” 

“Kenny!” Kyle hissed, stepping his foot down but to no avail. 

Mind set, Kenny strutted towards the girls. 

The moment Kenny found himself in their close proximity, their conversation came to a sudden stop. Arching their eyebrows in suspicion, the five girls lined up together, forming an intimidating wall right in front of Kenny’s nose. 

“Hey,” he greeted, raising a hand in salute. Hoping his smile looked friendly enough, he locked eyes with Bebe, who was playing with a strand of blond hair in annoyance. 

“Hey,” she greeted him, a playful smile on her lips. “Did you have fun last night?” 

After shooting a glance at each other, the rest of the girls started giggling. Kenny knitted his eyebrows in surprise.

Hmm. Suspicious. 

“Lots,” he said. Heidi stepped closer to a confused looking Nichole and whispered something in her ear. The slight gasp that escaped her throat told Kenny she had no clue who his mysterious kisser was. 

One out, four to go. 

“I’m sure you did,” Bebe said. “I wanted to play that game too, but I got… sidetracked.” 

“Yes,” Red said, bursting out laughing, “twerking!” 

The girls laughed. 

“Ha ha ha,” Bebe teased them. “You wish you could move your ass like I do.” 

“Actually, Bebe,” Kenny said. Putting on a lopsided smile, he slightly tilted his head in a way he knew it made some of the girls swoon. “You still have a chance to play that game with me.” 

Unimpressed, Bebe knitted her fine eyebrows in question. 

“I’m looking for the girl who kissed me last,” Kenny explained, letting out a sigh of relief when understanding flashed across Bebe’s face. 

“It was Red, wasn’t it?” Bebe asked looking towards her friend. “I left immediately after. It got incredibly boring. How was it, Red?” 

“I don’t remember anything,” Red whined, shaking her head. “I have a terrible hangover. I have no clue what I did last night. Fuck. I hope I didn’t mess up. Was it a good kiss, Kenny?” 

Heart fluttering in his chest, Kenny took a step closer to the redheaded girl. 

“We can find out soon enough,” he said. “Why don’t you kiss me?”

But before Red could say something in retort, Heidi screeched in dismay. 

“ _What?!_ ” Heidi exclaimed, stepping between the two. “Why do you need to kiss her again? You immediately realized it was her!” Heidi narrowed her gaze at him while Anne hummed in agreement next to her. 

“Unless you fancy Red,” Anne said, “I don’t see why you should ask something like that from her.” 

The rest of the girls mumbled in agreement. All expect for Red, her bottom lip jutting out in a sulky pout. 

“If Kenny wants to kiss me again, I’m not going to complain,” she said. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Kenny shouted. “Did Red kiss me _twice_ yesterday? Did I not recognize her the second time?” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Heidi asked. 

“Oh, no,” Anne said. “Red kissed you once, then it was Clyde’s turn and then--!” 

“Who kissed me last?” Kenny asked, scrunching his nose in frustration. “A girl kissed me before the game ended, who was it?” 

“A girl?” Heidi asked, sharing a confused look with Anne. 

This was getting nowhere. 

“Fuck,” Kenny swore, running a hand through his messy blond hair. 

Think, Kenny, _think_. If Red kissed him once and he recognized her immediately, it was impossible he didn’t know it was her the second time around. Unless Red was bluffing. What if the girls were plotting against him? Did they want to take revenge on him for some inexplicable reason? Was it Cartman again? 

Daring a glance towards Heidi, he realized Cartman had nothing to do with it. 

What if all of them were so drunk they forgot who kissed him last? It was a possibility, wasn’t it? 

“Never mind,” Kenny said, turning towards them again. He put on his most charming self and smiled. “Would you mind play that game with me again? No blindfolds this time.” 

“Why?” Nichole asked, wary. 

“It was fun!” Kenny let out a nervous laugh. “Come on, let’s make it quick before first period starts.” 

The girls shared a look. 

“Oh, what a way to start the week. I’m first!” Bebe exclaimed. 

Kenny turned to face her head on, his heart beating frantically in his chest. Sure, Bebe had been dancing when he took the blindfold off, but it didn’t mean she didn’t steal a kiss before the game ended. 

He leaned towards her, closing the gap between them with a decisive step. Bebe stood impatiently before him, as if she couldn’t decide whether she was more annoyed or intrigued by Kenny’s insistence. Heidi rolled her eyes upwards, while Anne’s eyes twinkled with curiosity. 

Kenny should have felt incredibly flattered by all the attention he was receiving, but he was not. Something was not right. Bebe’s rosy lips were alluring, but her perfume made his nostrils flare with indignation. No, he would have recognized her immediately. 

Bebe was _not_ his mysterious kisser. 

He was ready to push himself away when a voice stopped him in his tracks. 

“What are you doing?” 

At Wendy’s irritated stare, Bebe and Kenny backed away in surprise. 

_Wendy!_ Wendy had been there too, right?

And she seldom wore perfume. Kenny couldn’t have recognized her by scent alone, and if Stan liked to kiss her that much, it meant she was terribly good at it. 

What if his mysterious kisser was Wendy? 

Of course. She was so annoyed by the game she decided to put an end to it by kissing Kenny last, sure that he would _never_ think it had been her. 

It made sense, right? 

“We were just playing a game,” Bebe said and flipped her blond hair behind her shoulder. Wendy immediately locked eyes with Kenny, and he smiled in reassurance. 

“I was just--!” 

“I don’t care,” Wendy interrupted him. “Stan told me all about it and I don’t approve in the least. I don’t care what your problem is, but I won’t stand watching you kiss the girls against their will because you want to prove a point to _him_.” 

Cartman, Kenny thought. She was certainly talking about Cartman. 

“He started it!” Kenny defended himself. “I just want to know who kissed me last yesterday and he doesn’t tell me!” 

“Boys,” Wendy muttered, eyes upwards. “Listen, Kenny, you have to talk it out with _him_. Don’t be a baby. Everybody knows the one who kissed you last wasn’t one of my girls.” Kenny’s eyes grew wide at that and Wendy snorted: “Stop playing games and just go to _him_!” she exclaimed grabbing Bebe’s arm and walking away, followed by the rest of the girls. 

Shoulders slumped in defeat, Kenny followed them with his gaze. Talk it out with _him_? Did that mean it wasn’t a girl who kissed him last? Well, that did help him narrowing down the list to a couple of people. According to Cartman, Jimmy was there, so he should ask him too. Kenny vividly remembered Craig, Token and Clyde standing not far away from him, while Tweek was on the other side of the room. 

Could it be Tweek? 

Kenny shook his head no. It was a possibility but he doubted Tweek would have kissed him without letting out some sort of distinctive sound. 

And even when he managed to keep a cool head and kissed Kenny so softly it hurt, Kenny was sure Tweek’s lips would taste like coffee. 

He should ask Craig about it. 

“So how did it go?” Cartman’s voice shook Kenny out of his thoughts. He turned around, surprised to see Kyle still with them. 

“It wasn’t one of the girls,” Kenny said, giving Kyle a look-over, wondering if there was something wrong with him. He should have given up on convincing Kenny to drop the matter by now, but here Kyle was. 

“Of course it wasn’t,” Kyle said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you done now?” 

“Why are you so sure?” Kenny asked. “You weren’t even there.” 

Kyle’s blush raised Kenny’s suspicion. 

“Yes, well—” Kyle showed his irritation with a flicking motion of his hand. “I hate to see you make a fool of yourself.” 

Oh. 

“I’m not,” Kenny said shifting his eyes towards Kyle’s frown. “Am I?” 

“Well, you look like a fool to me,” Cartman said. 

“Hey!” Kyle shouted, ready to start a fight. 

Kenny was so used to their banters he immediately lost interest. Letting his gaze wander down the hall, Kenny realized class was going to start soon. He wondered if he should let Kyle know but then he spotted a familiar mass of blond hair scurrying down the corridor and he completely forgot about Kyle and Cartman’s bickering. 

“Tweek!” Kenny exclaimed waving his arms maniacally. Tweek dropped his book on the ground from the shock. “Tweek!” 

“What?!” Tweek screeched. He bended down on his knees to pick his book up, mumbling obscenities under his breath, and jumped back up when Kenny started running towards him. “W-what the fuck!” 

“Tweek! You are just the man I needed!” Kenny exclaimed. 

“Kenny!” Kyle shouted after him. 

“You were there yesterday,” Kenny blurted. “You know who kissed me la-!” The bell for first period rang, hushing Kenny’s words. Tweek looked around him in panic, clutching the book against his chest like a shield. 

“Kenny, we have class,” Tweek said. “This is too much p-pressure. I can’t stay here. What if-!” 

“It’s not going to take long,” Kenny cut him. “You’re a witness. Come on, buddy. You know who kissed me last yesterday, right?” 

Startled, Tweek’s gaze searched Kenny’s eyes before he shifted it to a point behind Kenny’s back. 

“D-don’t drag me into this.” 

“Was it you?” Kenny asked. “Just tell me yes or no.” 

“Kenny, enough!” Kyle exclaimed suddenly behind him. “We have class now. We can talk about it during lunch-!” 

“That’s none of your business, Kyle. Just go to class,” Kenny snapped petulantly. Turning back to Tweek again, Kenny put his hands on the other’s shoulders and shook him slightly. 

“D-don’t touch me!” 

“I need to put this on YouTube,” Cartman piped in. 

“Cartman, I swear I’m going to shove your phone up your ass if you don’t-!” 

“Come on, Tweek,” Kenny continued, tugging on him to get his attention, “just tell me yes or no!” 

“Move out of the way, Kyle!” Cartman shouted. 

“I said don’t touch me!” Tweek screeched. 

“Just tell him, Tweek,” Cartman interfered. “Otherwise he’s going figure it out on his own and you don’t want to get kissed, do you?” 

“ _Gah!_ ” 

It happened in an instant. 

One moment Kenny was there, yanking Tweek by the front of his shirt, the next he was seeing two angels snickering at him. The book Tweek had slapped across his face left a rectangular mark on Kenny’s cheek. The blow cracked Kenny’s neck. 

The last thing he heard was Tweek shouting: “Oh my God, I killed Kenny!” 

He would bet Kyle shouted something along the lines of “You bastard!” but everything turned black before he could find out. 

Damn it. 


	4. Strike three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! <3<3<3

### Strike Three

“I don’t give a fuck what got into you yesterday, but if you upset Tweek again, I won’t be responsible for my actions.” 

Holding Craig’s heated glare, Kenny played with the idea that he was standing in front of his mysterious kisser. There was a good chance Craig was the guy Kenny was searching for, a hypothesis that would explain why Kyle and Cartman’s eyes were boring holes into his back. Since Kenny declared his decision to ask Craig Tucker about that kiss, Kyle and Cartman had been fighting to have a ringside seat to the upcoming confrontation, as if they knew that Craig was the mastermind behind the chain of events that pushed Kenny over the edge and wanted to see what he would do next. 

Pinching his nose, Stan tagged along and waited for the madness to be over. In all honesty, Kenny was glad that someone in their group decided to be the rational one. 

“Don’t worry. Tweek can take care of himself,” Kenny said if not to break the awkward silence, to make Tween stop looking as if he was ready to shot someone down. 

His words had the desired effect. Surprised, Tweek slowly lowered his hands and stopped pulling out his hair. The apologetic look that flashed across his face reassured Kenny immensely. He was not going to die that day, not by Tweek’s hands at least.

“I know that.” Craig’s nasal voice sounded amused. “I just want to give him a hand next time.” 

Clyde, who was standing next to Token, snorted. Behind Tweek, Jimmy seemed ready to push his humor onto them, suddenly inspired by Craig’s words. Kenny couldn’t blame him; he had a couple of puns up his sleeve too. 

It was Kyle who stepped in first: “Craig, this is-!” 

“There is not going to be a next time,” Kenny declared, before Kyle nuked a nation because Craig had somehow insulted Kenny’s honor. “This could end right here, if you tell me who kissed me last at the party.” 

For the first time since Kenny has known him, Craig looked honestly perplexed. His eyes momentarily left Kenny’s to focus on a point behind the other’s back. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

Kenny shook his head no.

“That’s all I wanted to know yesterday…” Kenny shared a look with Tweek. “…before I ran away.” 

“What a pussy.” Cartman’s comment barely scratched the surface of Kenny’s fucks. 

“You want to know who kissed you last,” Craig repeated, unimpressed by Cartman’s insult as well. A moment of silence, in which Craig shared a long, meaningful look with one of Kenny’s friends. Kenny didn’t turn around to see who. He was sure it was Cartman, anyway. “Dude, I’m not going to get involved in one of your sick games.” 

“Sick games?” Kenny exclaimed, affronted. “I’m fucking serious here.” 

“I-is it i-important?” Jimmy asked, but Kenny didn’t find it in him to answer truthfully. Now it was not the time. Being the laughingstock of his circle of friends wasn’t going to help him any. 

“Just tell me, Craig.” 

“No.” Tone final, Craig whipped around and put a hand around Tweek’s shoulders. “Let’s go, hon.” 

“Wait!” 

Rolling their eyes upwards, Craig and Tweek kept walking. Clyde snickered behind his hand, while Token and Jimmy shared a knowing look. 

“ _Dude!_ ” Kenny exclaimed. “Come on, Craig, buddy! We’re friends, right?” Nothing. Craig didn’t turn around. “What the hell, asshole! I’m gonna kiss you to find out. You know I fucking will!” 

That seemed to do the trick. 

This time, Craig glanced behind his back, right eyebrow raised up to his hairline. 

“No.” 

“Fucker!” 

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Craig unwrapped his arm from Tweek’s shoulders and walked back to Kenny. Suddenly uneasy, Kenny pulled up the hood of the parka over his head and took an imperceptible step backwards. He heard Kyle swear under his breath behind him, but the redhead did not step between them. When Craig was a breath away from Kenny’s face, the tension could be cut with a knife. 

Kenny waited and bear Craig’s inquiring stare. 

“You seriously have no idea?” Craig asked, a low whisper, leaning closer so that only Kenny could hear him. 

“Hey! Louder for the people in the back!” Cartman exclaimed. Both Craig and Kenny ignored him. 

“No, and I’m desperate to find out, man,” Kenny said. 

Craig snorted. 

“Kissing me is not going to get you anywhere.” 

“Then who was it?” 

Craig looked up from Kenny’s face. 

“You have really shitty friends,” Craig said, stepping suddenly out of Kenny’s personal bubble. Curious, Kenny looked behind him, letting his eyes wander over Stan, Cartman and Kyle. The redness on the latter’s cheeks was impressive to say the least, but it was the only remarkable thing in his friends’ otherwise indifferent attitude. 

“Okay…” Kenny drawled, fixing his gaze back on Craig’s circle of friends instead. Craig followed his line of vision and without another word walked to Tweek’s side. 

“You’re l-looking at the w-w-wrong m-man,” Jimmy said, his lips twitching upwards. At that, Kenny’s eyes flickered between him, Token and Clyde. 

“Of course it was not Clyde,” Kenny wondered out-loud. 

“Hey!” Clyde exclaimed. “I could have been your mysterious kisser!” 

Craig and Kenny arched an eyebrow at him. 

“Okay, fine,” Clyde muttered. “I was not the mysterious kisser, but… I could have been!” 

“Oh, fuck this,” Tweek and Kyle suddenly said in unison, glaring at each other when they realized they have talked at the same time. 

“This has gone on long enough. First period is going to start soon,” Kyle said, scrunching up his nose. 

“Yeah, let’s go, Craig!” Tweek scratched his head in annoyance. “This is nonsense.” 

“Kyle’s right,” Stan chimed in. “You’re driving everyone insane with this, Kenny!” 

“But-!” 

“This was hilarious.” Cartman burst out laughing. “For a moment there I thought Craig was gonna kiss him. What a bunch of homos, you guys.” 

“You shut up, you son of a bitch!” Tweek shouted. 

“Let’s just go to class _already_ ,” Token said. 

“You’re such a nerd, Black.” Cartman rolled his eyes to the ceiling, but he followed Token to class along with the rest of the group. Only Kyle and Kenny lingered behind. 

“Let’s go too, Kenny,” Kyle said. After all that happened in the span of ten minutes, the softness in his voice was a pleasant surprise. 

“Did I just make a fool of myself over there, Ky?” Kenny asked, looking up into Kyle’s eyes. A flash of regret flashed across his friend’s face, but Kenny could not make heads or tails of it. 

After a moment of thought, Kyle decided to dignify Kenny’s question with an answer: “No, of course not.” He gave Kenny’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and softly patted his back. “Let’s go to class and forget about this.” 

Kyle’s tone was final. A soft warning that set all Kenny’s alarm bells ringing. Nevertheless, he decided to drop the matter for that day and followed Kyle to class without a word. 

Still, the possibility of one of his friends being the mysterious kisser couldn’t leave his mind. He didn’t bring it up again for the rest of the morning and way into the afternoon, but the moment school finished and Kenny was again alone with his thoughts, curiosity came back to bite him in the ass. 

There was no way around this. 

Kenny _had_ to know, and Kyle was the brain that was going to help him out in his quest for truth. 

Later that evening, when the Broflovskis had long finished dinner, Kenny climbed up to Kyle’s window as he used to do when they were much younger. As expected, Kyle was there, going over his homework. He didn’t even glance up from his book when Kenny unceremoniously jumped on his bed. 

“Hi, Kenny.” 

“Kyle, I need your help.” Straight to the point, Kenny crossed his arms over his chest in determination. Kyle arched an eyebrow at that and carefully put the pen down to give Kenny his undivided attention. The two stared at each other for a long, silent moment until a groan escaped Kyle’s throat. 

“Again?” Anger seeping through his voice, Kyle regarded Kenny with an unimpressed look. “Stop wasting your time, Kenny. This is not worth it.” 

“You’re smart. I’m sure you can catch my mysterious kisser with the few clues we’re given.” 

Kyle groaned again, louder this time, and moved around his chair to face him. 

“What’s so special about that kiss anyway?” Kyle asked, curiosity softening his hard features. 

“Kyle, you can’t possibly understand! It’s--!” Okay, Kenny needed to be honest with him otherwise Kyle would never help him out. He took a deep breath in and explained his situation: “There was something about that kiss, Kyle. Whoever kissed me… they- they like me, okay? I don’t know how to describe it, but it was… heartfelt? I know I sound like a wuss, but that’s what happened. This guy kissed me as if I was fucking precious and I want to know why.” 

Under Kyle’s scrutinizing stare, Kenny regretted ever opening his mouth. Looking back, Kenny did sound like a hopeless wuss, one that deserved to get his ass kicked until the end of time. If Cartman had been there, that was exactly what would have happened. Stan too would have probably teased him for it, so he didn’t know what to expect when Kyle slowly stood up from his chair. 

“Okay,” Kyle said, face unreadable. “What’s your primary suspect?” 

Feeling the smile growing on his lips, Kenny jumped off the bed. No hesitation in his voice, he said: “Token.” 

“Token??” Kyle didn’t look convinced in the least. 

“He was the only one who didn’t try to defend himself. Didn’t he look as if he had something to hide from me?” Kenny asked, thrusting his arms out wide. 

Kyle tilted his head to the side. “You think Token fancies you?” 

“It’s a possibility.” Kenny paced around the room, deep in thought. “You know what I am going to do?” Kenny asked, excitement pouring out of his every pore. “I’m going to ask him out.” 

Kenny’s determination sent Kyle plopping down in the chair again. 

“What? What??” Throwing a quick glance at the closed door, Kyle cleared his throat and stared at Kenny as if he had sprouted a second head. “You like _Token_?” 

“What?” Kenny was surprised. “No! Jesus, he’s not my type.” 

“You just said you want to ask him out!” 

Was Kyle going hysterical? He definitely was. 

“I just want to see what he would do about it.” 

“You think he’s going to confess if you ask him _out_? Kenny!” 

“Too straightforward?” 

“Are you out of your mind?” Kyle asked. “You can’t do that!” 

“Why not?” 

Kyle had no answer to that. Cheeks red, Kyle set his jaw and averted his gaze. 

“We need to find out if Token really kissed you first,” Kyle said, voice cracking in mid-sentence. “You can’t just go and ask people out like this. You are going to- you are going to hurt his feelings!” 

Kenny arched an eyebrow. 

“Can I just kiss him then?” 

“Kenny, no…” Kyle pleaded, raising his eyes to him. The flicker of despair in Kyle’s green irises was enough to make Kenny want to change tactics. 

“I guess we’ll figure out another way to get him to confess.” Feeling the sudden need to make things clear, Kenny continued: “And Token is not my type, really.” 

At that, a tentative smile showed up on Kyle’s lips that made Kenny’s heart do a flip in his chest. 

“And what’s your type then?” Kyle asked, obviously trying to redirect the conversation to something lighter. 

Sighing, Kenny sat back down on Kyle’s bed, letting his eyes wander around the bedroom to buy some time. 

That was a good question Kenny had never really cared to seriously consider. He liked what he liked without a reason why. Did he even have a type? Looking at Kyle, he felt the answer hanging on the tip of his tongue.

“What about you?” Kenny asked to deflect the question. 

Kyle shrugged. “I’ve never thought of it…” 

Kenny considered his options. “I think I would like someone who makes me feel alive.” Kenny said, lowering his voice as if he was letting Kyle in on a secret. “Someone who doesn’t let anyone push them around and who can stand their ground.” His words definitely caught Kyle’s attention. 

“Someone like Wendy?” Kyle asked, taking Kenny by surprise. 

“Wendy is a nice girl, but…” Kenny shrugged “…she’s not gifted enough, if you know what I mean.” 

The smirk on Kenny’s face made Kyle laugh. 

“Do you want it to be Wendy?” Kyle asked. 

“We already established that it was not a girl.” 

“Seriously, Kenny, who would you want it to be?” Kyle asked, locking gazes with him. Kenny’s heart raced in his chest as pictures of his friends filled his mind. Throat dry, Kenny finally set on a person in particular.

_Someone like you_ , he thought.

The sudden realization made Kenny arch his eyebrows in surprise. 

Weird. 

“…I don’t know,” Kenny said, clearing his throat. “Bebe, maybe? I’ll love to bury my face in her boobs.” 

The frown on Kyle’s lips was impossible to decrypt. However, it was gone in an instant, replaced by a sincerely curious smile. Kenny decided to keep talking before Kyle could ask any unwanted question: “But anyway, I know it’s not her, since apparently a boy kissed me.” 

“And what if you find him?” Kyle asked. “Would something change between you two?” 

“Not really,” Kenny replied. “I guess it’s just going to be really awkward.” 

“You’re right, especially if you don’t like him back.” Kyle threw a quick glance at his book. “That said, are you sure you want to know who this person was?” 

“Of course.” 

Kyle’s sighed. “Since you already kissed half the school and got nowhere-!” 

“I didn’t kiss half the school!” Kenny defended himself. 

Unimpressed, Kyle continued: “…there are two scenarios I believe you should consider.” 

Kenny waited. 

“Either you can’t really recognize a person by a kiss alone, which means you might have kissed them already and didn’t realize it was your mysterious kisser,” Kyle said, “or you didn’t kiss them yet and someone is lying to you.” 

“Are you implying that mine was just sheer luck?” Kenny asked. 

“Admit it, Kenny,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. “You based your guesses not on the way these people’s lips felt but on something else, like their scent. You’re an observant one, so this game was easy-peasy to you.” 

“But what about the last one? I couldn’t recognize him at all and-!” 

“Then how are you going to recognize them, if you couldn’t do it the first time?” 

Surprised, Kenny lowered his eyes on his hands. 

“That’s why I hoped someone would just _tell_ me,” Kenny whined, “but Cartman makes it so difficult!” 

“Will you finally stop letting Cartman humiliate you like this?” Kyle asked, a shimmer of hope flashing in his eyes. 

“No,” Kenny said, stubborn. “He can fuck off.” He stood up from the bed and made a bee line to the window. “I think I know who I should ask next, Kyle,” he said. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this!” 

Without another word, he climbed over Kyle’s window. His friend didn’t bother to stop him. 


	5. The Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to LWTIS for the beta and for helping me out right when I was thinking to throw this chapter in the trash. I love you, dude. <3
> 
> I know I said I was going to update as soon as possible but this chapter gave me a lot of trouble and if it weren't for LWTIS I would still be fighting with it. Enjoy! As always, feedback is highly appreciated.

### The Revelation 

There was only one person Kenny could ask, the only guy in the whole school that would actually have the decency to give him a clear answer… after a couple of jokes, of course. Jimmy Valmer had been about to reveal the name of his mysterious kisser when Kenny had confronted Craig the day before. There was a good chance he wouldn’t be so vague about it if Kenny tried again. 

Heart beating fast, Kenny went over his list of possible candidates and realized Jimmy could be one of them. 

So, to recap, none of the girls had been the last to kiss him. Cartman, Butters, Tweek and Clyde were out of the question, and although he hadn’t tried his luck with Craig, he was sure the guy wasn’t lying. That left Token and Jimmy, but Kenny was starting to doubt Stan’s faulty memory as well. After all, Jimmy did say Kenny had been looking at the wrong man. What if Jimmy had been implying that he had been looking at the wrong side of the corridor too? 

Stan, Cartman and Kyle had been standing behind him, and now that Kenny thought about it, Craig did share a look with one of his friends. Could it have been Cartman all along? That would explain why he was so set on not telling him. 

Let’s face it. Cartman didn’t want him to learn the truth and he even went as far as to refer the mysterious kisser as “Cinderella”. That was gay. Only someone like Cartman would think of something like that. Honestly, Kenny wished he really was searching for Cinderella right now. It would have been easier if he had a glass slipper to aid his quest but he had less than that: a faint sensation of soft lips against his. 

But would Cartman really call himself “Cinderella”? That was weird even for him. Moreover, Kenny doubted his lips tasted any good. So he could cross him off his list. 

That left Stan and Kyle. Now that was a possibility he had never considered, because Kyle made it clear he hadn’t been present at the time and Kenny trusted his honesty. All things considered, however, Kenny wouldn’t have minded if Kyle had lied to his face. Yet those soft lips could belong to anyone but Kyle. 

So Stan? But he had kissed Stan already and Kenny would bet his head it was not him. Of course, Kyle could be right and Kenny couldn’t recognize people through kisses. 

Whatever. Let it be Token or Stan or Jimmy. It changed absolutely nothing. Kenny didn’t want to date them. All he wanted to do was find out who fucking kissed him. It was a matter of principle. It was-! It was…

It was stupid, that what it was. 

Kyle was right. Kenny didn’t need to know, because it would only make things awkward between him and one of his friends. Token or Jimmy wouldn’t care, but if it was indeed Stan, he would probably freak out for a couple of days and Cartman would make sure to pick on him for the rest of his life. 

But wait - Cartman already knew. Fuck. What did that mean? If Cartman knew it was Stan all along, then why did he keep it a secret? Cartman didn’t care what Stan did. 

No.

He cared about what _Kyle_ did.

Humiliating Kyle was what he knew best. Cartman just wanted to gloat and he sure looked ecstatic whenever Kenny made a fool of himself, kissing everyone to prove a point. Kyle had always been around when that happened. 

Oh.

Cartman wasn’t there because he wanted to mock Kenny for his poor strategic choices.

He was mocking Kyle. 

Kyle. 

Oh, God. _It was Kyle._

Screw this. Kenny was getting nowhere with this. There was only one way to know for sure: ask Jimmy Valmer. 

He marched down the corridor to Jimmy’s locker, convinced he was going to find him there with Timmy before class started. 

“Timmy!” the boy in the wheelchair greeted him. Kenny flashed him a quick smile before reverting his attention back to Jimmy. 

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” 

“A-a-are you going to k-k-kiss me too, K-K-Kenny?” Jimmy asked, making Timmy laugh. Kenny fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, tugging the fabric over his mouth before he made his choice. 

“You know who kissed me last, don’t you?” 

Timmy and Jimmy shared a look. Kenny braced himself for a joke at his expense, but none came. 

“O-of course I d-do,” Jimmy said, uncharacteristically serious. “Everybody d-d-does!”

“And why does no one wants to share this secret with me?” Kenny asked, suddenly angry. He leaned against the locker with an annoyed sigh, catching the pitying look Timmy threw his way from the corner of his eye. 

“H-he can be quite s-scary when he w-w-wants to be,” Jimmy confessed. 

“Who? Cartman?” Kenny asked, taken aback.

“No, J-J-Jesus, nooo,” Jimmy laughed. “K-K-Kyle.” 

“So it was Kyle?” Kenny looked down at his feet and pulled the hood over his head, suddenly uneasy under Jimmy’s stare. “Thanks, I guess,” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“S-so d-do I get a t-t-t-thank you k-k-kiss?” Jimmy asked with a smirk. 

“You are an asshole,” Kenny said, rolling his eyes, and walking away. 

And now what? Should he confront him about it? Kenny considered the idea for a while, and then finally made up his mind. 

His school day continued, dull as ever. One class followed another, the clocked ticking by, but it was never time for lunch break. Cartman was getting restless and started pissing the teachers off, but everyone was so used to his antics by now that they all just ignored him. Stan was staring out of the window, thinking God knows what, and Kyle… 

From his seat behind him, Kenny stared at his back, impressed at how he could still keep notes despite muffling yawns every two minutes from boredom. He slid down in his chair and nudged him with his foot. 

“Kyle.”

“What?” Kyle asked in a hushed voice. Cartman strained his ears and shot them both a curious look. 

“I need to talk to you,” Kenny said. “I need your help.”

Kyle’s eyes immediately found Cartman’s. Kenny felt like smirking as Cartman’s whole demeanor lit up whilst Kyle frowned. 

“Fine,” he grunted, obviously biting back some insult aimed at Cartman. Kenny beamed and went back to doodling on his book until the class was over. 

He couldn’t wait to act on his plan and the moment the bell rang, he practically dragged Kyle out of the classroom. Cartman bolted from his seat to catch up with them and Kenny mentally thanked Stan and Clyde for engaging him in conversation at the very last second. 

“What the fuck, Kenny!” Kyle exclaimed, trying to disentangle himself from his clutch. 

“I am so excited, Kyle!” Kenny said, flashing him a wide grin. “I know exactly who my mysterious kisser is, and I plan to make him confess.”

To say that Kyle’s face became as pale as a sheet was an understatement. Jaw slacked in surprise, Kyle took an imperceptible step backwards before he realized what he was doing and quickly regained composure. He stood up straighter and arched an eyebrow, almost as if he didn’t care what Kenny was about to say next. 

“So? Who is it?”

“I thought about it and the truth was right in front of my nose,” Kenny said, giving him a look-over. Kylie licked his lips and shot a glance over his shoulder. 

“Really?” His voice came out constrained and immediately, he cleared his throat. “Who?”

Kenny waited a few seconds before answering. Rolling his eyes dramatically, he shrugged.

“Jimmy, obviously. Think about it. He was there, but I don’t remember him because he left just a moment before I took my blindfold off. Why did he leave? Why kiss me like I’m the sun and the moon and all that fucking shit? Because he didn’t want to be caught in the act, that’s why. He likes me.”

“Remember what we talked about yesterday? If Jimmy is really the one, do you seriously want to push him to confess?” Kyle asked, letting his eyes wander over Kenny’s serious expression. 

“Don’t worry, dude. I’ll tell him I like him back and all will be good.” 

The shock put a nice expression on Kyle’s face: like a man ran over by a truck. Kenny was familiar enough with the feeling to not laugh at him. 

“Why, Kyle?” Kenny tilted his head to the side and arched an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t I?”

“Do you… like Jimmy?” 

“I might?” Kenny said with a shrug. “Jesus, Kyle, I’ve been searching for him for so long. Granted, he’s not as gifted as Bebe, or cool like Craig, but you know, he’s nice and he apparently likes me a lot. I think I will give him a chance.” 

Kyle had survived the truck and was now being run over by a herd of cows. Kenny knew that feeling too, so it was easy to keep a poker face. 

“Will you help me out, dude? Or not?” he asked, growing restless. 

“Help you out?” Kyle echoed, eyes incredibly big. He ran his fingers through red locks and stared at him as if he had just sprouted another head. Kenny knew he had a rant ready about how this was bad idea, and that Kenny shouldn’t date people he didn’t like all that much. 

“Yes! Should I give him flowers? Serenade him? I remember you are good at serenading, give me some tips.” 

“That was that one time and-!” Kyle bit his lip and started pacing around the corridor. “No! No, no, no,” he chanted raising his hands in front of his chest. “Kenny, no, you can’t go serenading Jimmy!”

“Why not?” Kenny asked, intrigued. 

“ _Why not_?” Kyle looked at him, incredulous. “I told you why yesterday!”

“Today’s different,” Kenny said. “Today, I know he likes me, and nothing is going to be awkward between us because I might like him back.”

Kyle looked ready to puke, and for a fleeting second, Kenny felt bad for playing with him like this. But if he just outright asked him, Kyle would find a million reasons why he was above all suspicion. 

“What is it about Jimmy that makes you so excited to date him, even when you don’t… like him right now?” Kyle asked, stepping closer so that they stood face to face. 

“He’s pretty blunt,” Kenny said, locking eyes with him. “He speaks his mind and doesn’t keep secrets. Plus, he’s much more experienced that any of you. That counts for something, right?”

At that, Kyle’s cheeks tinted a nice shade of red and he cleared his throat, as if stalling for time. Kenny stared at him through half-lidded eyes and bit the inside of his mouth to refrain from smiling. The thought that Kyle was cute crossed his mind, and sent his heart flipping. 

“I think it’s a bad idea.” Kyle crossed his arms over his chest and Kenny melted at the sight.

He had been so blind. Wow, and he was considered the observant one. 

“We’ll see about that,” Kenny said and with a wink, he quickly left to meet the others in the cafeteria. Mumbling something under his breath, Kyle unwilling followed him without a word. It was obvious he was dying to do something to stop him, but Kenny was going to keep it up until Kyle broke. 

After all, two can play at this game. 

For the rest of the day, Kenny did absolutely nothing, but Kyle kept watching him as if expecting him to spring into action at any moment and kiss Jimmy breathless. At some point, Jimmy walked past them with Craig and Clyde, and Kenny flashed him a smile so bright that Jimmy almost stumbled with his crutches. Stan and Cartman stared at him, confusion written all over their faces, whilst Kyle almost hit Jimmy with a book. 

When Kenny returned home after his part-time job later that evening, he almost got a heart attack when he found Kyle sitting with Karen in the living room, waiting for him.

“What the fuck?” he asked, glancing around in search of his parents. Karen greeted him with a quick hug and left them alone before Kenny could ask for an explanation. 

“So…” Kyle began, a blush crawling up his neck. Kenny plopped down next to him and kicked off his shoes. 

“What are you doing in his rathole?” 

“I was… hmmm…” 

Seeing Kyle at a loss for words was a first and Kenny turned around to face him head on. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Kyle said. “So, have you talked with Jimmy?”

Kenny suppressed his smirk.

“Yes, I did,” he retorted and fell silent again, gazing at Kyle biting his lip in obvious anger. “Jimmy was not my mysterious kisser.”

“He told you that?” Kyle asked. He sighed in relief and Kenny wondered once again how he managed to miss this. His fingers moved on their own accord, brushing a red lock away from Kyle’s eyes. 

“I guess I need to ask Token next.” 

“Can’t you just drop this?” Kyle asked. 

“Why?” Kenny asked, letting his hand fall in his lap. “What is it to you?”

“I explained my reasons pretty well yesterday,” Kyle snapped. “And you said you don’t like Token.”

“But I need to ask him anyway,” Kenny reasoned. 

Kyle looked him straight in the eyes and just like that, Kenny felt vulnerable under that inquiring stare. Kyle’s hand was suddenly on his knee and Kenny dropped his gaze to it, debating whether to drop the act right now or keep going. 

“I won’t give up until I find him.”

“Hmmm…” Kyle didn’t even dignify him with an answer. He just tilted his head to the side and stared at him. Kenny could almost hear the gears in his brain turning, considering all options, and wondered what he should do to make him finally stop thinking and act on impulse for once. And yet Kenny liked that about him, he liked how his mind worked and wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

Unexpectedly, Kyle leaned closer. The tips of their noses almost brushed before he abruptly jerked back, putting as much distance as he could between them. Kenny’s heart skipped a beat at the almost-contact.

“Dating Token might be fun,” he said to fill the awkward silence that engulfed them. “Although he’s so serious all the time.”

“He’s dating Nichole,” Kyle said, emphasizing his words with a roll of his eyes. 

“A threesome is not bad.”

“He’s _dating Nichole_.”

“I heard that already.”

“Kenny, you can’t date someone you don’t like just because his kiss felt nice.”

“I think I am reconsidering my choices,” Kenny said, surprised by how husky his voice sounded. Kyle, having picked up on it too, arched an eyebrow at him. Kenny didn’t back down and kept his gaze right where it was. “Truth be told, I don’t think it’s Token. You are right. I might have kissed him already and I don’t know.” 

“And what if you haven’t yet?” The determined look on Kyle’s face spoke louder than words and Kenny dropped his eyes to the hand that was still on his knee. 

“So you think it’s Craig?” he asked, repressing a smirk when Kyle groaned and hid his face into his hands. “He tricked me into thinking that he wasn’t the one.”

Kyle looked away and for a fleeting second, Kenny thought he was taking this too far. 

“But I actually think it might be Stan,” he said, catching Kyle completely off guard. “I think he’s hiding something from me. Plus, we have been friends for a long time and I know he’s boyfriend material.”

“What does Stan--!” Kyle bit the inside of his cheek before he could utter the whole sentence. 

“I think Stan and me could work out,” Kenny said, enjoying the jealousy flashing through Kyle’s eyes. “He was too drunk to remember, that’s why he keeps thinking he didn’t kiss me.”

“He didn’t!” Kyle exclaimed, standing abruptly from the couch. 

“How do you know? You weren’t there,” Kenny said calmly. He leaned back against the couch as Kyle started pacing around the room. 

“Ok,” Kyle said, stopping in the middle of the living room. “Stan is definitely not your type, so you can cross him out.”

Kenny laughed. 

“I’m not judging based on my type, but on a kiss.” 

“But that is what you should be doing!” Kyle exclaimed angrily. “This goddamn quest is ridiculous, Kenny! You shouldn’t care who kissed you last! You should care about who you fucking like and all that jazz. This is madness. Cartman is having the time of his life with this and I’m going crazy! You kiss everybody and don’t stop for a minute to think! What it is about this kiss that’s so great? Forget this guy for a second and think about what you want!”

Kenny stared at him. Kyle’s breath was heavy and his face was red, hands clenching and slackening, as if he didn’t know what to do with them. Kenny stood up.

“I know exactly what I want,” he said. “I want to find my Cinderella.”

“Your Cinderella,” Kyle repeated, voice flat.

“Yes, because, Kyle,” Kenny said as he stepped closer, face darkening in anger. “I thought about all of my possibilities and none of the guys I kissed so far made me shiver. But my mysterious kisser did. If he only had the guts to confess, I would like him even more, but he’s such a coward that-!”

Kyle smashed their mouths together, finally shutting him up. 

And in that moment Kenny realized something.

Kyle was _right_.

“There, happy now?!” Kyle hissed the moment he broke the kiss. Kenny blinked his shock away and let his eyes wander over the other’s face. “So?” Kyle asked, suddenly unsure.

“Too violent,” Kenny said, trying hard not to grin. Kyle was right, Kenny couldn’t recognize people by a kiss. Had no one told him, Kyle could have kissed him senseless and Kenny would have realized shit.

“Okay, hold on,” Kyle said, taking a deep breath. He cupped Kenny’s face and softly kissed him again, taking Kenny’s bottom lip between his own. Kenny refrained from grabbing Kyle’s shirt and pulling him closer. “Do you understand now?” Kyle asked the moment they broke apart, his breath caressing Kenny’s cheeks. 

Cheeks flushed and lips parted, Kyle looked absolutely adorable.

“Hardly,” Kenny said. “I think you just like kissing me.”

“Kenny, I’m serious!” 

“You can’t be the mysterious kisser,” Kenny said. “He was passionate about it.”

Kyle regarded him with a long, disbelieving look and Kenny grinned. 

“Better luck next time!” he said, pushing away from him and turning to leave. 

Just as Kenny expected, Kyle grabbed him by the arm and was back in his face, crashing their mouths together. Their teeth clashed and Kenny let out a laugh before Kyle shut him up with another kiss. Finally, he recognized that familiar scent. He felt Kyle’s tongue on his lips and wondered why he hadn’t done so sooner. He buried his fingers in red locks and pulled him closer. Closer. Closer. Until he could-!

“Errr, you guys, there are children here.” Kevin’s amused voice snapped him back to reality. Kenny looked towards him and Karen. Both his siblings were arching an eyebrow at them, sporting the same entertained expression. Still basking in the afterglow of the kiss, Kenny didn’t realize that Kyle had made a beeline for the door and was running away. 

Kevin smirked, motioning towards the door and waggled his eyebrows. 

“Shut up,” Kenny said.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Are you going to run after your boyfriend, or what?” Karen asked, irritated. Kenny didn’t need to be told twice. He bolted out of the house and caught Kyle right before he crossed the train tracks. 

“Kyle!” Kyle didn’t stop and let out a surprised gasp when Kenny grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him into his arms. 

“You were not supposed to leave before midnight!” Kenny joked. Kyle’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance but Kenny pressed his lips against his before he could say anything. 

Gaze softening, Kyle took Kenny in, as if he wanted to impress his face into his memory, and Kenny let him until he couldn’t contain what he wanted to say anymore. 

“It took me a while to realize I wanted him to be you, but I want to kick your ass right now, because you are a motherfucker and made my quest for the truth very, very difficult.”

“You know why I did it…” Kyle mumbled, avoiding his eyes. 

“There’s only one thing I don’t understand,” Kenny said. “Why didn’t Cartman rub it into your face?”

Kyle snorted, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I bribed him with the five dollars I won,” he confessed. “And because he thought it was so funny that I didn’t want you to know, he paid Butters to keep his mouth shut. We knew he would have told you immediately, should you ask. Seeing me get all riled up because you went around kissing half the school brightened up his days.” 

“I didn’t kiss half the school.”

“Almost.” 

“Do you regret me finding out?” 

“This is not going to be awkward, is it?”

“I kissed you back, asshole.” 

“Don’t feel obligated if-!”

Kenny shushed him. He remained silent as he considered Kyle’s words for a moment. 

“I think I would have asked you out on my own eventually,” he said, flashing him a lopsided grin. “You’re a hot piece of ass and-!” Kyle’s groan momentarily interrupted him. “-and I like you,” Kenny finished his sentence. 

A soft smile graced Kyle’s lips, but he didn’t reply with a confession of his own. Kenny didn’t need him to. 

* * *

“Are you going to Bebe’s party tonight?” Red asked, sitting on her desk and checking her lipstick in the mirror. Wendy glanced up from her book and grunted a quick “yes” while the other girls just nodded in agreement. 

“Is it girls’ night?” Butters asked, tilting his head in confusion. “Aww, sucks.”

“You can come too, if you want,” Bebe said, strutting into the classroom right that moment. She flipped her blond hair back and sat down in her seat behind Wendy’s. “And Kenny too. That will be fun.”

Kenny flashed a smirk and winked before going back to his Playboy. Cartman clicked his tongue in annoyance. 

“Hey!” he protested. “What the hell, you guys! You can’t invite Kenny and Butters to a girls’ party!”

“Why not?” Bebe asked, checking a perfectly manicured nail.

“You’re just jealous you can’t go, fatass,” said Kyle, not even looking up from his essay. 

“Besides,” Bebe said before the two could get into a fist fight. “I regretted not playing the game so much last time. Kenny needs to be there if we want to get it right.”

“What?!” Clyde exclaimed. “You want to kiss Kenny?”

“Do _you_ wanna kiss Kenny?” Bebe asked, and the girls giggled. 

“Clyde, you just had to ask,” Kenny said, flipping a page of his magazine lazily. 

“You are a slut, Kenny,” Cartman said. “And anyway, if you want to play this game right you need the rest of us too. Kenny is just going to win easily if there’s so few of you.”

“Can you shut your fucking mouth, Cartman,” Kyle groaned. “I am trying to concentrate.”

“Well… Jews are not invited to this kind of party. What would your mother say?”

“Fuck this shit!” Kyle said, slamming his pen on the desk. “Admit it! You hate feeling left out! You know very well Bebe is never going to ask you, while Butters doesn’t need to bat an eye to get an invitation.”

“Jeez, fellas, you don’t need to fight over me.” 

“Guys, it’s just a party,” Stan said, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“It’s a _girls’_ party,” Bebe said. “Plus Butters and Kenny.”

“You just want some guy-on-guy action,” Craig piped in, muttering an insult when he lost the game he was playing on his phone. 

“By the way,” Bebe said. “Are you and Tweek free tonight?”

At that, Craig flipped her off. 

“If you need some guy-on-guy action, just ask Kyle,” Cartman said, arching an eyebrow at him in amusement. Kyle’s grip tightened on his pen.

“That would be interesting,” Annie said, talking for the first time. “I wonder if Kenny would-!”

“Oh, I would, surely,” Kenny said, interrupting her. Everybody turned to look at him in shock, but his grin just grew wider. “I’m sure this time, I will get _everyone_ right.”

Cartman snapped his head towards Kyle, who started rubbing his temples. 

“You didn’t last time,” Tweek said. 

“I hope second time’s a charm. And I’m betting ten dollars,” Kenny said. 

“Okay, this is interesting,” Bebe said. “Do you girls mind if we postpone our girls’ night for another time? Tonight, I want to have the whole class at my party.” 

“Bebe, your thirst is showing,” Craig said and Clyde burst out laughing. 

“Does that mean we are invited?” Cartman asked, hopeful. He cleared his throat. “Not that I give a flying fuck.”

“Are you really sure you wanna bet ten bucks?” Nichole asked, turning to face Kenny. 

“This is ridiculous. Betting money is never a good idea,” Wendy said, closing her book. Kenny rolled his magazine up and locked eyes with Kyle. 

“What if we let Cartman pay for pizza delivery or something if I get everyone right?” he asked. “That’s not betting, right?” 

“I’m in,” Kyle promptly said. 

Cartman’s gaze flickered from one to the other. “You must be fucking kidding me.”

“I like that!” Bebe exclaimed. “And no one loses if Kenny doesn’t guess right.”

“Hey! Hey!” Cartman protested. “Don’t you want to know my opinion on this?”

“Relax, dude,” Clyde said. “You know Kenny has an Achille’s heel… or how do you say it…?”

“Something tells me we are not playing by the same rules this time,” Token said, following Kenny’s gaze. 

At that, Kenny smiled and Kyle smiled back.

“What do you mean?” Clyde asked.

“Class, back to your seats!” their professor shouted as he came into the classroom. After sharing another look, Kyle and Kenny finally turned their attention to the chalkboard. 

The night was bound to be an interesting one…


End file.
